Writing Progress... or UnProgress?

May 2010, I completed my Creative Writing Senior Thesis.  As part of a novel, it only needed to be 50-75 pages long, and then include chapter summaries for the rest of the story.  It was 69 pages long (not including the summaries).  Doubled spaced, TNR 12, 1 in margins.  Seven chapters.

Since then, I have more than doubled the length.  Most of that progress occurred in September and October 2010, as outlined in my LJ (click the links for details).  I have 54,499 words written, not including the most recent chapter, which is number 21.

And then I decided... it all needs to be rewritten.

I'm not touching the stuff that I wrote for class (yet).  Other people have actually seen that, so I'm less concerned, although I have already altered a few plot points so I WILL have to go back and make a few changes.  I'm just putting it off because I don't want to be caught up in tedious rewriting.

Something about chapter eight - yes, that first chapter I wrote after the stuff for school - was just really irking me, so I had to go back and write it.  And I've been stuck in writer's block for a few months, stuck on the same freaking chapter that I started almost a year ago.  I finally finished rewriting it (it is on its third draft) but I am still not happy with it.

I am, quite honestly, not sure what to do.  I need other eyes to see it.  But I am so apprehensive about showing my work to other people.  It's my baby!  I've worked so hard on it.  What if it is horrible?  I have a vision in my head.  What if they don't understand the vision I have?  The comments I got from my senior thesis class were always so helpful and constructive.  I miss having that support, but have few writer friends that I still keep in touch with.

I'm having my boyfriend look at it now, to see what he thinks.  It's mainly plot that I struggle with.  Stupid plot having to make sense (heh).

Well, anyways.  That's my writing rant for now.