Does It Pass Its O.W.L.s? A Review of The Cursed Child, Sans Spoilers

It’s been nearly ten years since I closed Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, sure I’d never read another page about Harry’s adventures. I guess, not unlike Voldemort, the franchise just won’t give up. But you know what? I can’t say I’m disappointed.

Harry Potter and the Cursed Child has its problems, don’t get me wrong. But to be staying up late reading again—to be reading a Harry Potter book for the first time again—was to feel like a kid again. So I read the script as I did as a kid—for fun, for entertainment, and without the chains of adult cynicism.

At least, I tried. “Riddled” with as many wrong turns as the Tri-Wizard Tournament maze, the plot of The Cursed Child is too fast-paced and contrived. Harry and his son Albus bicker more than Ron and Hermione in their younger years, and after a particularly awful spat, Albus and his best friend, Scorpius Malfoy, run away, steal a confiscated Time Turner, and haphazardly wreak chaos upon the wizarding world. Anyone remotely familiar with time travel plotlines can guess what type of shenanigans these two get up to. Minus 50 points from Gryffindor for even messing with Time Travel.

Still, a bad plot can be redeemed by good writing and compelling character development. As far as the writing goes, that won’t be rescuing this plot from itself. In fact, there is one particular scene that was both written so poorly and clearly there as a bad plot device that I’m declaring it as the Worst Scene in Harry Potter history—out of both the movies and the books. I’ll give the writing a pass, though, for clever interjections in the scene directions, witty one-liners from Scorpius, and basically every Ron and Hermione scene.

Speaking of Scorpius, Ron, and Hermione—most if not all of my enjoyment of this script comes from the character development. Scorpius Malfoy, yes that’s Draco’s son again, is the most adorable, amusing character in the whole script. I’d argue he stole the spotlight and is the real hero. The friendship between Scorpius and Albus, and how that affects their fathers—O level!

And yes of course the Big Question—but what about Ron and Hermione? The fate of their relationship was my biggest fear regarding this play. Ron and Hermione fans, do not fear. I will spoil only this for you: nothing terrible befalls Ron and Hermione and they are still going strong by the end of the play.

Would I recommend it? Yes, if you really love Harry Potter. And what I mean by ‘really love,’ is that you can be critical of something without allowing that criticism to affect your overall love of the series. If you don’t hate time travel stories, you’ll probably enjoy it. If you do hate time travel stories, well, if you can suspend your disbelief long enough to let yourself enjoy the story, then you’ll enjoy the story. That’s on you.

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Disclaimer: I only read the published script copy and did not see the play performed.